Jey here to tell my story about how I decided to love my body despite my dysphoria.
It’s something I’ve always struggled with and still do from time to time but once I realised I could change some of the things that caused me the most pain, it did get more bearable. As a nonbinary person who’s not planning on going on hormones, it can be tough to engage in society, I’m glad there are some other options I can lean towards to make my body feel more like my own. Maybe I’ll even see about tattoos in the future!
Matt here with a tag on note (because I’m still getting folks asking about it :D )
There are now TWO different ways to support what we do here with Oh Joy Sex Toy!
The Erika Moen Monthly Patreon
The OJST per-Comic Patreon
You can read up about the decision to make the split over here in Erika’s mega post!
And heck, while your at it; Erika posted a brand new autobio comica week ago to her NEW Patreon
If you’re a supporter – thank you so friggin much – your dollars keep this project going; allows us to hire and give so many different voices a space to explore these kinds of comics. I think they’re important and it means the world to know you do too.
↓ Comic Transcript
Jey Pawlik is a nonbinary person with a short black haircut, glasses, and wears a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. The colour palette of this comic are greens and aqua colours paired with cartoony line art.
Page 1
"Loving my body didn't come naturally to me." Jey says with humble pleasure to the reader with their hands overlapping as they press against their chest. "It was a decision."
Looking over their shoulder to a memory in the past, Jey continues more sadly, "I had such a hard time in my own body growing up."
"Stop struggling!" Growls Jey's mom as she tugs a pink dress over Kid Jey's head.
Present Day Jey observes, "I didn't feel at home in it."
"Ohh, you look so beautiful!" Jey's mom tells her clearly upset child. "Just like a princess!"
"I'd rather be a prince..." Kid Jey says, holding their arms and hands at an awkward, uncomfortable angle. They sport a pink bow in their black curly hair.
Page 2
The page is filled with panels of close-ups of Jey's feminine features, all toned pink. There's an eye with long lashes, a sculpted brow, and the fringes of bangs overlapping it. Lipstick'd lips rest in a neutral position, neither smiling nor frowning. Jey's torso is in seen in profile, boobs filling out a long-sleeved shirt, followed by a closer view of them from the front. Jey's hips are cocked subtly at an angle in their jeans, with one hand delicately resting on their thigh, and then another view of their butt in those same jeans.
Present Day Jey in their trademark green tones stands before this collection of pink panels, holding their head and squeezing their eyes closed in distress.
Narration: When I came out as trans in my mid-twenties, I thought it would be easier but it only magnified the parts of myself that I hated. This wasn't how a transmasc person was "supposed" to look. My body felt even less like mine.
Page 3
"No!" Shouts Jey, slamming their hands down. "Enough is enough!" And then confidently announces, "I've decided."
Jey takes off fully clothed at a sprint through a floating field of clinical and insurance paperwork as they say, "This is my body for the rest of my life so instead of self loathing-" They are perfectly positioned halfway through a portal in the middle of the page, the half of them emerging on the right-hand side is nude to show off their top surgery scars and medical tape, and their hairy leg as they continue, "-I'm going to take action in the form of transforming my body to suit my needs instead of forcing myself to love things I don't love." Jey is rushing towards a floating field of gender affirming products (Like a chest compression shirt and scar gel) and masculine clothing (A tie and boxers)
Page 4
Now clad only in shorts, Jey runs barefoot to a free-standing mirror and stops. With surprise, he takes in his reflection.
Narration: This is what loving my body means to me. Allowing myself to transform it.
They tentatively feel the weeping scars on their chest and we can see the perspiration by their armpits. Jey looks in amazement at their full body in the mirror. They have big feet and sturdy, hairy legs. Their soft middle section barely hangs over the top of their shorts and there's a little trail of hair leading up to their bellybutton. The bandages have been removed so we can see their big round nipples with the faintest hint of scarring left over from the stitches, along with the line of scarring running along the bottom of their pectorals.
Page 5
"This is my only body-" Jey exclaims in joy. "-but that doesn't mean I can't do renovations-" They hold up hangers with different tops (a striped tank top and a collared, short-sleeved shirt with a wavy line pattern) "-and decorate it how I see fit." Reclining in style, Jey shows off their outfit, consisting of sandals, tailored shorts with a floral pattern, and the striped tank top.
Back in their house, Jey has changed into a different outfit- a black, long-sleeved shirt and jeans- and reads a book on their big comfy couch. In the background there's a full bookshelf, framed art, a big potted plant, and a coffee table with a steaming mug on it.
"Loving myself is turning this house into a home and doing things that make it so I'm happy to inhabit it on my own terms."
Transcribed by Erika Moen on November 20, 2024 for https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/loving-myself
Jey Pawlik is a nonbinary person with a short black haircut, glasses, and wears a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. The colour palette of this comic are greens and aqua colours paired with cartoony line art.
Page 1
"Loving my body didn't come naturally to me." Jey says with humble pleasure to the reader with their hands overlapping as they press against their chest. "It was a decision."
Looking over their shoulder to a memory in the past, Jey continues more sadly, "I had such a hard time in my own body growing up."
"Stop struggling!" Growls Jey's mom as she tugs a pink dress over Kid Jey's head.
Present Day Jey observes, "I didn't feel at home in it."
"Ohh, you look so beautiful!" Jey's mom tells her clearly upset child. "Just like a princess!"
"I'd rather be a prince..." Kid Jey says, holding their arms and hands at an awkward, uncomfortable angle. They sport a pink bow in their black curly hair.
Page 2
The page is filled with panels of close-ups of Jey's feminine features, all toned pink. There's an eye with long lashes, a sculpted brow, and the fringes of bangs overlapping it. Lipstick'd lips rest in a neutral position, neither smiling nor frowning. Jey's torso is in seen in profile, boobs filling out a long-sleeved shirt, followed by a closer view of them from the front. Jey's hips are cocked subtly at an angle in their jeans, with one hand delicately resting on their thigh, and then another view of their butt in those same jeans.
Present Day Jey in their trademark green tones stands before this collection of pink panels, holding their head and squeezing their eyes closed in distress.
Narration: When I came out as trans in my mid-twenties, I thought it would be easier but it only magnified the parts of myself that I hated. This wasn't how a transmasc person was "supposed" to look. My body felt even less like mine.
Page 3
"No!" Shouts Jey, slamming their hands down. "Enough is enough!" And then confidently announces, "I've decided."
Jey takes off fully clothed at a sprint through a floating field of clinical and insurance paperwork as they say, "This is my body for the rest of my life so instead of self loathing-" They are perfectly positioned halfway through a portal in the middle of the page, the half of them emerging on the right-hand side is nude to show off their top surgery scars and medical tape, and their hairy leg as they continue, "-I'm going to take action in the form of transforming my body to suit my needs instead of forcing myself to love things I don't love." Jey is rushing towards a floating field of gender affirming products (Like a chest compression shirt and scar gel) and masculine clothing (A tie and boxers)
Page 4
Now clad only in shorts, Jey runs barefoot to a free-standing mirror and stops. With surprise, he takes in his reflection.
Narration: This is what loving my body means to me. Allowing myself to transform it.
They tentatively feel the weeping scars on their chest and we can see the perspiration by their armpits. Jey looks in amazement at their full body in the mirror. They have big feet and sturdy, hairy legs. Their soft middle section barely hangs over the top of their shorts and there's a little trail of hair leading up to their bellybutton. The bandages have been removed so we can see their big round nipples with the faintest hint of scarring left over from the stitches, along with the line of scarring running along the bottom of their pectorals.
Page 5
"This is my only body-" Jey exclaims in joy. "-but that doesn't mean I can't do renovations-" They hold up hangers with different tops (a striped tank top and a collared, short-sleeved shirt with a wavy line pattern) "-and decorate it how I see fit." Reclining in style, Jey shows off their outfit, consisting of sandals, tailored shorts with a floral pattern, and the striped tank top.
Back in their house, Jey has changed into a different outfit- a black, long-sleeved shirt and jeans- and reads a book on their big comfy couch. In the background there's a full bookshelf, framed art, a big potted plant, and a coffee table with a steaming mug on it.
"Loving myself is turning this house into a home and doing things that make it so I'm happy to inhabit it on my own terms."
Transcribed by Erika Moen on November 20, 2024 for https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/loving-myself
