Lilaeleaf opens up and shares with us what her asexuality means for her! A lovely moment of retrospection, self discovery and ace-representation! I think she… Matt takes a moment to look left, then right, before remembering he has no shame… Aced it.
Note From Lilaeleaf
This little comic is my personal experience with asexuality. It’s so important to me that this isn’t interpreted as the only asexual experience. Every ace person has a different story to tell, and it’s so important to listen to every voice! My aceness also ties into my gender and my experience with romance; introspection for another day, perhaps!
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Page 1
Opens with a text conversation between L and somebody else on her Instagram. This mysterious Stranger, sends out a message, in the form of a comment on an Instagram image L posted that shows them celebrating 'Happy Ace Week'.
'Hey!! I think I might be Ace… Is it OK if I ask you about your experience blushing-face-emoji and eyes emoji'
El replies 'Of course!! Being ace is so cool and you’re not alone, hearts emoji'
In the next panel, the camera is focused on L as she looks at her phone
'If I’m honest, I don’t recall the moment I realized I was Ace.'
We cut into the past as we see a younger L scrolling through Tumblr in front of them is a page with the title 'Asexuality! It’s a thing! But it’s 2016 so no one knows much about it.'
El continues explaining through her narration.
L narration - 'I probably stumbled on the term while on Tumblr, feeling seen by the definition at 16.'
This younger L is in bed now with a mildly thoughtful and worried look on their face.
L narration - 'And became an integral part of me, helping me navigate a slurry of feelings I couldn’t quite place.'
'It can be especially difficult as we are fed this idea of a cookie-cutter life growing up.'
We see depictions of the cookie-cutter, life, a video of an assumedly cis and heterosexual couple kissing, a photo of a nuclear family, and next to it some basic sexy romance novels.
'There’s a lack of stories and perspectives that could help people understand the complexity and beauty of it.'
We cut back to the current day, L lying back on some pillows, surrounded by toys and her tablet and books.
L - 'And just a lot of misconceptions about asexuality in general.'
Page 2
We're given a five panel showcasing depicting some of the worst misconceptions L's been exposed to.
'That’s not normal…'
Says a voice from offscreen. L raises her finger to try to protest
'I wish I was Ace, I’m always so horny, it’s so annoying !' says another.
L holds her hand up in mild frustration.
'Do you masturbate?'
A disgruntled-looking L just stares back.
'Procreating is the purpose of humans'
El holds up the word 'NOPE', in reply.
'Are you capable of love at all?'
El just stares back in shock.
A title sits on top of the last few panels taped on with tape!
Asexuality: experiencing little to no sexual attraction.
Having established the asexual, hailstorm of questions and misconceptions, we return to modern-day, L. She's sitting in an abstract, cloudy display.
L - 'Part of me is always fighting a gentle loneliness, a fear of solitude in this world where romantic and sexual relationships are prioritized.'
L is now depicted holding a swinging sword, DnD style, now dressed for the fight!
L - 'But, I can’t let myself feed those thoughts!'
Page 3
Some floating narration starts this page, still in the cloudy abstract.
L narration - 'My existence is different from many, but that’s the beauty of life! Being asexual doesn’t mean being alone forever. That’s a common misconception!'
L is surrounded by her friends, a whole multitude of people, all happily, hugging, embracing
L narration - 'I have my friends...'
Now we see a bundle of people holding cups, their hands all engaged in conversation
L narration - 'My family...'
L boops her face against her dog who looks lovingly back.
L narration - 'My dog. [she’s also my therapist]'
The floating narration returns.
L narration - 'There is so much love to give and receive and feel. The label of Asexuality is something that helped me understand, in larger strokes, how I approach the world around me.'
Page 4
In the panel, L is holding and waving the Ace flag as her friends and community chase behind her with their own flags of support.
L - 'It makes me feel seen and gives me a community!'
L narration - 'I’ve also found peace and self-acceptance through creating art that brings people to me validating the lot of us!'
We now see L in front of her tablet, as she scribbles away, stars and light emanate from the screen in front of her.
L - 'Making characters that represent me.'
This next panel is filled with depictions of her drawn DND characters. A little Teifling is mostly on display.
L - 'Characters that portray asexuality the way, I experience it.'
We're now shown a panel FILLED to the brim with reactions to said illustrations of this art. I wish I could cover it all, but there are simply hundreds of kind loving emoji field reactions. It's lovely.
The camera pans back to L who looks on with a modicum of surprise as she blushes at the reactions.
We finish the page with L in bed, holding the phone tight to her chest as an ace heart floats above her.
Page 5.
L narration - 'I like to think that I have a view on the world around me from a unique perspective.'
We’re shown the sky filled with birds, followed by L being embraced tightly by a person she must care deeply for.
This is then followed by an assortment of hands, holding, one another, touching and making hearts with the negative shapes.
L narration - 'I find the beauty in intimacy in my own way.'
L narration - 'Maybe a lack of sexual desire helps bring my focus on the other aspects of life, love, and friendship.'
We see L doing yoga, drawing excitedly, and just being excited to be herself.
This page and comic ends on two more floating narrations, drawn in a way that makes it look like she’s been replying to the instigating Instagram comment all along. The comic has come full circle!
L narration - 'As I come into my own, I cannot express the relief I feel every day, knowing I can live my life just being me. Just know that anything you experience is valid! Heart-emoji I’m here for you!!'
Today's comic about Asexuality was made by Lilaeleaf, who can be found at https://linktr.ee/lilaeleaf
The comic was then transcribed by Matthew Nolan on 03/04/24.
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