PAGE 1
Jem is an anthropomorphic character with pointed ears and a boxy snoot. The color palette for their story is soft pink, purple, and blues, accompanied by pops of black and white.

Narration: Sex is a big part of my life. I've always had a high sex drive, despite confusion over my sexuality. But for a long time, it was just me.

Image: Jem reclines on their back, fully clothed, and runs their hand over their crotch while lost in sensation.

Narration: I recently discovered a journal I kept during secondary school, an all girls boarding school, small and secluded. It wasn't unusual to share a room with four or five other kids.

Image: We see the boarding school in the background as modern-day Jem looms over it, reading their old journal. In the foreground, teenage Jem is writing.

Narration: While mostly filled with made up stories and rants about teachers, I found a recurring theme: I hope something exciting happens soon.

Narration: My inner world was full of elaborate fantasies and there was a deep yearning on these pages. At first, for any kind of human connection.

Image: Teenage Jem sits on their boarding school bed while another student sits on theirs, reading a book. Jem is looking yearnfully towards the window.

Narration: As the years go by the entries become more focused on a primary goal: I wanted to have a sexual experience.

PAGE 2

Narration: My first awkward fumblings were ineffective. I knew nothing about my own anatomy: there was a 'G Spot' somewhere, according to magazines.

Image: As Jem sits on the toilet with their hand between their legs, they look to the stall door where some unseen students are gossiping, saying "Did you hear what that sixth former did with her toothbrush?"

Narration: At 17 I got my own bedroom at school and a laptop with internet access- an *unprecendented amount of privacy*.
Image: Jem's laptop, screen glowing in the dark.

Image: Jem stands by their desk with their laptop open, one foot on the ground and one on their desk chair. With one hand they're following a line of text on the laptop with their finger while the other hand holds a hand mirror by their crotch area. Jem reads from the screen, "'Locate the clitoris.' The what??"

Narration: My laptop was the doorway to a world of exploration. I used the internet as a guide and began to learn about my body, sex, orgasms, porn, BDSM... It became an extracurricular study in how to get off.

Image: Now laying in their bed fully clothed with one hand down their shorts, their laptop is open next to them playing porn.

Narration: It may seem strange that I knew so little about making my body feel good. But the messages I'd received my whole life were that masturbation was gratuitous and BAD.

Image: We flashback to 13-year-old Jem looking up from their book ("The Wind Singer") as two judge-y classmates stand over their shoulder looking shocked and aghast. One classmate asks, "Do you masturbate?". Jem answers looking a little confused, "I mean ... sometimes??". The other classmate recoils in surprise, emoting "!!"

PAGE 3
Image: An older teenage Jem looks over their shoulder guiltily as their parent calls "Dinner's ready!" to them from the next room. "C-coming!" answers Jem, looking nervous. In one hand Jem holds a credit card while a sex toy website featuring the AQUA-RABBIT vibrator/dildo is illuminated on their laptop.

Narration: Somehow I got ahold of a credit card, and ordered my first vibrator online to my parents' house. It seemed TERRIBLY IMPORTANT that no one find out about this.

Image: The sex toy: a veiny shaft with a protuberance on one side that is vaguely shaped like a rabbit's silhouette.

Narration: A water resistant aqua-rabbit, it was perfect for discreet bath and shower 'Personal Time'.

Image: Jem dramatically and gracefully enters the bathroom, holding the toy in one hand and about to pull away the the towel wrapped around their body with the other hand. The toy emanates glory lighting, like a medieval portrait of the Mary with Jesus.

Narration: With great ceremony I brought it with me into the shower...

Image: Jem's legs, wet in the shower, one knee bent suddenly in pain as they exclaim "OW!"

Narration: And... I just kind of shoved it in there, you know? It hurt.

Image: A fully nude Jem leans one arm against the shower wall as the other hand pushes the toy inside themself while standing.

Narration: I didn't really know what I was doing, but I think I took my own virginity that day.

Image: Jem is bundled up outdoors, walking their dog and grimacing in the blustery wind.

Narration: It was only afterwards, walking the dog with a slightly skewed gait, that I thought of it that way.

Image: Jem, still bundled up, stands looking out at the ocean as their hair blows in the wind and their dog frolics around.

Narration: I was proud that I could have a sexual experience all on my own, though there was still loneliness; now there could also be *pleasure*.

PAGE 4
Image: A collage of scenes from Jem's life surrounds a full body illustration of them dancing at a party.
One flashback shows Jem having sex with someone outside their school, they're both dressed up nicely for a graduation event- as implied by the sign reading "So long class of 2010!" in the background.

Narration: Finally finishing school was like being let off the leash for the first time in my life.

Image: Jem and an owl-friend are running down a city street with a building labeled "Adore and Endure" in the background. "That's our bus!!" shouts Jem

Image: Jem dancing with abandon in a cute dress, high heels, and their hair flipping into the air.

Narration: There was no-one watching me or holding me back.

Image: Jem sits in front of a mirror, doing their hair while looking flustered.

Narration: Despite this, I put suffocating pressure on myself to be sexually active.

Image: In the foreground, a person's hair chest faces us as they lie in bed, a blanket pulled up over their torso. Jem sits in the background with their back to us, bra still on, head down, in this dark apartment.

Narration: I had a string of unsatisfying and risky encounters, and ended up even more confused about my sexuality.


Narration: It was my first girlfriend who encouraged me to go further in my journey of self-exploration.

Image: Now moving forward in time, a college-age Jem sits on their bed smoking a bowl with a cat person who is showing them their phone. "Magic wand?" asks a comfortably-stoned Jem. "It will change your life." replies the girlfriend with a sly, encouraging smile.

Narration: Despite my early years with The Rabbit, "The Orgasm" had still eluded me."

Narration: When my Magic Wand arrived I couldn't contain my excitement enough even to take it home from my university building.

Image: Jem sits on the edge of their dorm couch, fully clothed, shouting "OH GOD" as they hold the wand between their legs and energy lines shoot out around it.

Image: Jem lays on their back, masturbating with the wand, totally lost in the experience with a weed pipe leaving little clouds in the air around them.

Narration: I got very little done that summer.

PAGE 5

Narration: I could reach a new state of pleasure in my own private world. It was empowering.

Image: Jem is collapsed on their bed, post-orgasm, as light streams through the window and a bird stands on the roof of its open cage, singing a little song.

Narration: Treating myself this way helped me to heal from past relationships, and all those years of rejection and isolation. It would still be some years before I was in a relationship where I could explore this with another person. I now had time to connect with my body and show myself some tenderness.

Image: Present-day Jem is drawing away on their Cintiq screen, working on this very comic.

Narration: When I look back now on the times I was alone, I don't feel sad.

Image: A mischievous Jem pushes away from their desk, stylus still in hand. A chest of wardrobe drawers sits in the foreground.

Narration: I'm grateful that I took that time to get to know myself; that I knew I deserved to feel good.

Image: Jem pulls open the bottom drawer, revealing a vibrator.

Narration: Because of those moments, I feel a deeper connection with myself.

Image: Jem is stretched out luxuriously on their couch, fully clothed, enjoying their vibrator over the top of their pants.

by Jem Milton - JMiltonDraws.com - December 4, 2018 - https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/pleasure-drive-jem
Transcribed by Erika Moen Feb 29, 2024