Erika’s sick in bed today (Monday as I write this), so I’m doing all the prep work for today’s comic. Usually, I’d write all kinds of thing-a-ma-bobs, but since I know Erika will want to fill this blog post up with all kinds of helpful stuff. I’m going to leave it pretty sparse, so she can come in and replace it all when she feels better.
Check back later on, and hopefully, Erika will have written up something.
As always, hope this finds you happy and well friends.
Read more of Erika’s comics and keep up with her many creative projects on her Patreon (tons of free, public posts!) and her monthly newsletter.
↓ Comic Transcript
The comic starts with a younger Erika and her first girlfriend soaring through the air together with large angel wings on their backs. Young Erika is caressing her girlfriend’s face as her girlfriend embraces her from behind.
Erika narrates, “The first time I fell in Real Love, I was flying high on a cloud of euphoria. It was my first Real Relationship and I knew I had found my Forever Soulmate.”
“Until.”
“Suddenly.”
With a serene expression, Erika’s first girlfriend snips off Young Erika’s wings with a pair of shears.
The next frame shows Young Erika right before she hits the ground, frozen in shock and disbelief.
“She dumped me.”
In anguish, Young Erika curls up into a ball on the floor.
“The heartbreak made me physically ill, I had never experienced pain like this before.”
Our current Erika steps into the frame to stand next to her past self, who has started crying alone. Erika puts her hands on her hips and looks at Young Erika with an understanding expression. “Aw, kid,” she says.
Young Erika sobs out, “All I did was love her and then she threw me away for no reason!”
Erika reaches over to pat her younger self. “Well, honestly, you were kind of a dick.”
“WHAT!” Young Erika yells back defensively. She angrily pushes herself up to glare at her older self, before pointing a finger at her.
“Hey, who are you, anyway?!”
Erika shrugs reassuringly. “I’m you. About 20 years in the future. Listen, you weren’t a dick on purpose, you’re not a bad person (and neither is she!). You’re just… young, you’re inexperienced with being a partner, and you’ve got some pretty unrealistic ideas about love.”
Young Erika grumbles, “...Unrealistic ideas about love…? Love is love! What more do you need to know?”
Erika takes Young Erika’s hand to help her get up. “C’mon,” Erika says. “Let’s you n’ me go down a trip down the River of Love.”
Young Erika strikes a “Woe is Me” pose as the two make their way over to an inflatable raft with a paddle. She cries out, “What we had was MAGIC! Two souls combined! Such a pure connection can never be replicated!”
“Go home, Erika, you’re drunk,” her older self responds.
“ExCUSE you?!”
Erika says, “Seriously! When you first fall in love, your brain is flooded with neurochemicals that make you high as balls.”
An illustration shows a watering can pouring out a stream of neurochemicals including Dopamine, Serotonin, and Norepinephrine over a brain. The stream continues to flow down to form a river that the two Erikas start to ride down in their raft.
Young Erika leans over the side of the raft to run her hand through the flowing neurochemicals. She starts to cry. “What, so ‘love’ is just a buncha chemicals? LOVE IS A LIE!!!”
(A note says, “Actual thing I actually said.”)
Erika continues to paddle the boat. She replies, “Love is real, you’re just not in a sober mindset about it early-on.”
“You think being in love with someone is this stationary state…”
An illustration shows two people holding hands while enclosed in a glass cloche labeled “LOVE” with a heart for the O.
“... When really it’s this living entity that’s constantly in motion.”
The raft the two Erikas are in splashes around as they ride out a sudden wave. Erika calls out, “It never stops changing!”
The water starts to calm. “Sometimes in ways that make you happier.”
The water suddenly rushes down, dropping their raft down and forcing Young Erika to cling onto her older self. “Sometimes in ways that make you sadder.”
The two continue down the river as the water starts to calm again. Young Erika hugs her knees close to her chest. “Well, I’m hella sad now,” she says. “I won’t ever love again.”
Erika turns to look back at her and says, “It’s true, you won’t ever have this love again because every time you love someone, it will be different.”
Young Erika looks down, looking sad and resentful, like she doesn’t want to hear what Erika is saying but she is resigned to it anyway.
Erika continues to talk. “We’re humans. We’re a social species, programmed to seek relationships. We need love, but at the same time…”
“Love is not enough.”
At this, Young Erika finally turns and looks back up at her.
Erika leans in closer to face her younger self. “Two people can really love each other and still not be good partners together. Love by itself is not enough to keep a relationship afloat long term. A healthy partnership needs mutual support, mental and emotional nourishment, communication, negotiation, acceptance, boundaries, forgiveness… Love can’t fill all those roles itself. Sometimes the most loving thing to do is end a relationship before the things that don’t work rot into something dysfunctional or toxic later.”
Young Erika angrily blows up at this. “... ‘loving thing to do’?! She HURT ME!!!”
Young Erika flails about with spirals in her eyes as she continues to vent. “She betrayed me! She used me! She didn’t try hard enough! She never REALLY loved me! She threw me away! She’s a BAD PERSON! I hate her!”
She sobs, holding her head in her hands.
Erika moves over to comfort her. “Getting dumped sucks,” Erika says. “I’m sorry.”
She brings her younger self in for a hug.
Erika puts her hands on her younger self’s shoulders. “Feel your feelings dude,” she says. “Feel the fuck out of them.”
Young Erika sniffles and looks back at her with red and teary eyes.
Erika continues, “And in time you’re going to realize that they’re mostly coming from your own deepest insecurities and fears that you’ve always had, long before you even met her.”
Erika gestures at a series of tarry, black thoughts that ooze out of a gaping hole in Young Erika’s chest, which say things like “I’m alone”, “I’m unloveable”, “I deserve to be rejected and abandoned”, “I’m bad”, and “I hate myself”.
Erika helps push the tarry thoughts back into the hole in her younger self’s chest. “Get therapy, dude,” she says. “Learn how to fill your heart with your own tools, so you’re not just sucking somebody else dry to fill your own emptiness.”
Young Erika turns away to clutch her chest defensively. “What, so I can’t be in a relationship until I’m a perfect person?”
Erika backs off and holds up her hands a little. “Of course not!” she says. “The love and support of others can help you grow. But you gotta be functional enough on your own that you’re not just taking from your partner, you’re giving them something back, too.”
Their raft comes to rest on a sandy shore and Erika helps her past self climb out. “Listen,” Erika says. “I’m gettin’ close to 40 years old and I’m still working on (struggling with) all of this stuff. It’s hard. What I do know is that it is a gift to love anyone for any amount of time, no matter how long it lasts or what note it ends on.”
Erika puts her hands over her heart. “When relationships end, whether it’s with a lover or a friend or a family member, learn the lessons you need to take away from the experience and treasure the good memories as you move forward in your life. You may be incompatible now, but at one point you shared something special and that is a gift to keep.”
Young Erika notices Erika’s wedding ring glinting off her ring finger as she says this.
The two start making their way up the beach they landed at.
After a little while, Young Erika asks, “...Hey. So. That wedding ring on your finger… What kind of girl do we wind up marrying?”
Erika says, “Ah. Right. I’ll be happy to tell you all about that if you’ll just follow me into The Bouncy House of Sexuality…” as she leads her younger self over to a giant inflatable bounce house a short distance away.
Brought to you by our awesome patrons at Patreon.com/erikamoen.
To repost or license this comic, visit Ohjoysextoy.com/license.
This comic was posted on November 17, 2020 and transcribed March 10, 2023, by Dennie Park, who can be found at linktr.ee/DeepBeeps
Erika narrates, “The first time I fell in Real Love, I was flying high on a cloud of euphoria. It was my first Real Relationship and I knew I had found my Forever Soulmate.”
“Until.”
“Suddenly.”
With a serene expression, Erika’s first girlfriend snips off Young Erika’s wings with a pair of shears.
The next frame shows Young Erika right before she hits the ground, frozen in shock and disbelief.
“She dumped me.”
In anguish, Young Erika curls up into a ball on the floor.
“The heartbreak made me physically ill, I had never experienced pain like this before.”
Our current Erika steps into the frame to stand next to her past self, who has started crying alone. Erika puts her hands on her hips and looks at Young Erika with an understanding expression. “Aw, kid,” she says.
Young Erika sobs out, “All I did was love her and then she threw me away for no reason!”
Erika reaches over to pat her younger self. “Well, honestly, you were kind of a dick.”
“WHAT!” Young Erika yells back defensively. She angrily pushes herself up to glare at her older self, before pointing a finger at her.
“Hey, who are you, anyway?!”
Erika shrugs reassuringly. “I’m you. About 20 years in the future. Listen, you weren’t a dick on purpose, you’re not a bad person (and neither is she!). You’re just… young, you’re inexperienced with being a partner, and you’ve got some pretty unrealistic ideas about love.”
Young Erika grumbles, “...Unrealistic ideas about love…? Love is love! What more do you need to know?”
Erika takes Young Erika’s hand to help her get up. “C’mon,” Erika says. “Let’s you n’ me go down a trip down the River of Love.”
Young Erika strikes a “Woe is Me” pose as the two make their way over to an inflatable raft with a paddle. She cries out, “What we had was MAGIC! Two souls combined! Such a pure connection can never be replicated!”
“Go home, Erika, you’re drunk,” her older self responds.
“ExCUSE you?!”
Erika says, “Seriously! When you first fall in love, your brain is flooded with neurochemicals that make you high as balls.”
An illustration shows a watering can pouring out a stream of neurochemicals including Dopamine, Serotonin, and Norepinephrine over a brain. The stream continues to flow down to form a river that the two Erikas start to ride down in their raft.
Young Erika leans over the side of the raft to run her hand through the flowing neurochemicals. She starts to cry. “What, so ‘love’ is just a buncha chemicals? LOVE IS A LIE!!!”
(A note says, “Actual thing I actually said.”)
Erika continues to paddle the boat. She replies, “Love is real, you’re just not in a sober mindset about it early-on.”
“You think being in love with someone is this stationary state…”
An illustration shows two people holding hands while enclosed in a glass cloche labeled “LOVE” with a heart for the O.
“... When really it’s this living entity that’s constantly in motion.”
The raft the two Erikas are in splashes around as they ride out a sudden wave. Erika calls out, “It never stops changing!”
The water starts to calm. “Sometimes in ways that make you happier.”
The water suddenly rushes down, dropping their raft down and forcing Young Erika to cling onto her older self. “Sometimes in ways that make you sadder.”
The two continue down the river as the water starts to calm again. Young Erika hugs her knees close to her chest. “Well, I’m hella sad now,” she says. “I won’t ever love again.”
Erika turns to look back at her and says, “It’s true, you won’t ever have this love again because every time you love someone, it will be different.”
Young Erika looks down, looking sad and resentful, like she doesn’t want to hear what Erika is saying but she is resigned to it anyway.
Erika continues to talk. “We’re humans. We’re a social species, programmed to seek relationships. We need love, but at the same time…”
“Love is not enough.”
At this, Young Erika finally turns and looks back up at her.
Erika leans in closer to face her younger self. “Two people can really love each other and still not be good partners together. Love by itself is not enough to keep a relationship afloat long term. A healthy partnership needs mutual support, mental and emotional nourishment, communication, negotiation, acceptance, boundaries, forgiveness… Love can’t fill all those roles itself. Sometimes the most loving thing to do is end a relationship before the things that don’t work rot into something dysfunctional or toxic later.”
Young Erika angrily blows up at this. “... ‘loving thing to do’?! She HURT ME!!!”
Young Erika flails about with spirals in her eyes as she continues to vent. “She betrayed me! She used me! She didn’t try hard enough! She never REALLY loved me! She threw me away! She’s a BAD PERSON! I hate her!”
She sobs, holding her head in her hands.
Erika moves over to comfort her. “Getting dumped sucks,” Erika says. “I’m sorry.”
She brings her younger self in for a hug.
Erika puts her hands on her younger self’s shoulders. “Feel your feelings dude,” she says. “Feel the fuck out of them.”
Young Erika sniffles and looks back at her with red and teary eyes.
Erika continues, “And in time you’re going to realize that they’re mostly coming from your own deepest insecurities and fears that you’ve always had, long before you even met her.”
Erika gestures at a series of tarry, black thoughts that ooze out of a gaping hole in Young Erika’s chest, which say things like “I’m alone”, “I’m unloveable”, “I deserve to be rejected and abandoned”, “I’m bad”, and “I hate myself”.
Erika helps push the tarry thoughts back into the hole in her younger self’s chest. “Get therapy, dude,” she says. “Learn how to fill your heart with your own tools, so you’re not just sucking somebody else dry to fill your own emptiness.”
Young Erika turns away to clutch her chest defensively. “What, so I can’t be in a relationship until I’m a perfect person?”
Erika backs off and holds up her hands a little. “Of course not!” she says. “The love and support of others can help you grow. But you gotta be functional enough on your own that you’re not just taking from your partner, you’re giving them something back, too.”
Their raft comes to rest on a sandy shore and Erika helps her past self climb out. “Listen,” Erika says. “I’m gettin’ close to 40 years old and I’m still working on (struggling with) all of this stuff. It’s hard. What I do know is that it is a gift to love anyone for any amount of time, no matter how long it lasts or what note it ends on.”
Erika puts her hands over her heart. “When relationships end, whether it’s with a lover or a friend or a family member, learn the lessons you need to take away from the experience and treasure the good memories as you move forward in your life. You may be incompatible now, but at one point you shared something special and that is a gift to keep.”
Young Erika notices Erika’s wedding ring glinting off her ring finger as she says this.
The two start making their way up the beach they landed at.
After a little while, Young Erika asks, “...Hey. So. That wedding ring on your finger… What kind of girl do we wind up marrying?”
Erika says, “Ah. Right. I’ll be happy to tell you all about that if you’ll just follow me into The Bouncy House of Sexuality…” as she leads her younger self over to a giant inflatable bounce house a short distance away.
Brought to you by our awesome patrons at Patreon.com/erikamoen.
To repost or license this comic, visit Ohjoysextoy.com/license.
This comic was posted on November 17, 2020 and transcribed March 10, 2023, by Dennie Park, who can be found at linktr.ee/DeepBeeps
