Erika sits casually on top of a wand shaped toy. It is large and cylindrical with a round, rubber head at the end. She says, “Welcome back, dear Perverts! Today’s review is of my most favorite toy ever, ever, EVER-”

The cord of the giant wand curls around to write “The Hitachi Magic Wand” in large, fancy cursive.

The wand has various labels around it indicating different features:

• Big textured rubber head


• Bendy neck


• 2 speeds


• Gigantic size (12.5 inches)


• Around $50-$70


• Powerful, LOUD electric motor (NOT stealthy!)


• Inconvenient cord (too surly for batteries!)

The cord of the wand forms a panel border as Erika narrates: “The Hitachi is a vibrator for external stimulation on your vulva and clit (officially advertised as a “back massager”) and, for me, a sure-fire, minimal effort, orgasm-maker. This toy doesn’t waste time, it’s gunna rattle your cootch until you’re coming like there’s no tomorrow.”

A nude person with a vulva appears, ready to showcase their own magic wand.

Erika continues, “The Hitachi comes with two settings, which I refer to as…”

The Jackhammer (5000 rpm)
The person reclines back, sighing happily, “Aaaah!” with their legs in the air as they press the vibrating head of the wand against their vulva.

And

The Sound Barrier Breaker (6000 rpm)
The same person's voice gets louder , “AHHHH!” as their whole body vibrates from the wand.


Off panel, Erika continues; “Because it packs so much more juice than a battery-operated toy can, the Hitachi’s powerful vibrations completely envelop your genitals, submerging your bits in a sea of sensation and orgasms. My vulva likes to start with gentle stimulation and slowly escalate to stronger vibes as arousal increases - which is NOT this toy’s specialty.

Erika shrugs while casually holding the wand. “Either it’s OFF… or it’s ON, FULL BLAST.” Erika turns it on, looking unsettled as the wand begins to rumble and shake wildly in her hand.

She says as an aside, “You can buy a dimmer attachment, but I’m a cheap-o”.

“One way I’ve found to work around that challenge is to shield my delicate bits with a folded towel to act as a shock absorber and distribute the vibes to cover more ground.”

The previous toy tester reappears and happily lies back with a small towel draped over their crotch, holding the head of the wand against their vulva through it.

Erika continues; “Then, as my cootch warms up, I can swap the cushy towel with something thinner, like a folded t-shirt, eventually removing ALL barriers for unrestricted stimulation right on my vulva lips and clit.”

Erika winks and whisks away the person’s towel. They writhe and kick their legs in absolute pleasure from the full force of the wand.

“Using the Hitachi too regularly (like, five days a week for a month) tends to de-sensitize my clit and orgasm becomes harder to achieve.”

A rather frazzled looking cartoon vulva makes burbling sounds as the head of a cartoon Hitachi wand buddy rumbles against it. The wand, looking pretty concerned, tells the vulva, “I think you’ve had enough.”

“Here are my tips for this!”

What follows is a trio of panels, with our toy testing person demonstrating Erika’s tips as she narrates.

“Stick a finger in your butt! When your clit is exhausted, all’s you gotta do is lube up a finger and stick it where the sun don’t shine while keeping the Hitachi in place and it’s back to ORGASM CITY.”


The person cries out in ecstasy as they finger themselves anally while holding the wand against their vulva.

“Pair it up with a vaginal penetration toy! This can be tricky, due to the cumbersome size and shape of the Hitachi, but when it’s pulled off correctly it’s AMAZING. (Ask a friend to help!)”

The person is now on all fours, using the wand to play with themselves while a dildo sticks out of their vagina.


“Or stop using the Hitachi for a while. Take some time to get reacquainted with gentler stimulation until that’s enough to get you off again, then haul out the big guns anew.”


The person sits and chills as they press a gentler and smaller vibrator against their vulva. A Hitachi wand with a sad face lies down in the background saying, “Haroo…”.

Erika’s back in the spot light, clapping her hands.
“But don’t worry! Vibrators don’t cause permanent nerve damage! Just like clapping vigorously for a while may over-stimulate the nerves in your hand, if you give ‘em a break, feeling returns normally.”

“Finally, if discretion is important to you, be warned the proud roar of the Hitachi’s motor cannot be stifled.”

A concerned mother comes up to a door with loud buzzing noises emanating from it. The mom asks, “Did a swarm of angry bees get in your room?” A voice inside sheepishly responds, “Uh, EVERYTHING’S FINE, MOM.”

Erika starts her conclusion next to a large display of the wand.
“But in spite of its minor inconveniences, the orgasms the Hitachi serves up cannot be compared to any other toy or partner that I’ve had. They’re all-encompassing, a blanket of electricity that’ll course through your veins, producing orgasms you didn’t even know you were physically capable of having. In conclusion, if you like deep, intense stimulation and a heavy-duty product that’ll last for YEARS without breaking down, the Hitachi Magic Wand is worth the investment.”

Erika ends the comic surrounded by a heart shaped panel made from the cord of the magic wand. She says, “Hitachi, I love you,” as she gives it a tight hug. The wand buzzes back a sweet, “I love you too, Erika”.

This comic was drawn April 30, 2013 and transcribed Jan 3, 2021, by Dennie Park, who can be found at linktr.ee/DeepBeeps