How beautiful is this comic by Menthaam? Every illustration is just so inviting and friendly while covering a subject that can be so fraught and confusing for so many. Menthaam isn’t alone in questioning their sexual orientation and bouncing back and forth between labels. For a good number of folks, their sexual orientation is fixed and consistent, but for the rest of us… well, over the course of your life, you may be surprised to find out who you are attracted to, and that’s ok! Sexuality can be a flexible and surprising thing.
Added NOTE (3/22/22) Menthaam’s lovely comic today is all about her own personal experiences and definitions of sexuality growing up while living in Russia. We very much want a wide variety of people’s personal stories here on OJST, from different countries and cultures and translated from other languages, like this one.
Bisexuality can be far more than a binary and we strongly encourage you to research and learn more to find what works best for you. Check out some of our comics on sexuality and bisexuality!
Menthaam depicts herself as a pinky-orange cat-person who wears a big baggy knitted sweater with a white Peter Pan collar poking out around the neck. She sits with a mug in her hand, talking to another blue cat-person who plays on her phone while they both sit in their own easy chairs.
The Friend says confidently, "You know- I have never understood how it's possible to fall for someone of the same sex as me. I just can't imagine dating another girl!"
Menthaam responds, "Oh? There's nothing strange about it."
Her interest piqued, the Friend leans forward, asking incredulously, "Oh yeah? Would you be able to do it?"
Laughing good naturedly, Menthaam shares, "Dude, I'm bi. I've dated both guys and girls!"
"No way!" Exclaims the friend, now a little embarrassed but also curious. "I hope I wasn't rude? But, like I'd love to know more!"
"Sure!" Replies Menthaam. "To be honest it took me a long time to figure out."
Page 2
Menthaam stands next to a child-like illustration, showing a stick-figure version of Menthaam (labelled "Me") and a blue canine-person (labelled "Boy"). Shrugging, Menthaam explains, "Before puberty, I had no doubts at all! I definitely liked boys!"
Now we see a brown cat-like person with pink hair who is texting with a smitten Menthaam. The narration reads, "And then one day I mutually fell in love for the first time. It was long distance, and I was like, "Wow, what a cool guy!" And only when we met for the first time, I realized I'd been growing feelings-" Here Menthaam and the new person are united, holding hands as they walk.
"FOR A GIRL!" Exclaims Menthaam, seeing her partner for the first time.
Page 3
Narration: It filled me with doubts and confusion about my sexuality.
Image: Alone, Menthaam unlocks her door while looking thoughtful.
Narration: Coming home and thinking hard, I realized that my feelings remained the same.
Image: She hangs the lesbian pride flag on her wall.
Narration: Being interested only in her, I concluded that I must be a lesbian.
Now back in the sitting room with her friend from the beginning of the story, Menthaam takes a sip of her drink and concludes her story with, "Shortly after, as happens, we broke up."
"Aw yeah- early romance. What happened next" Asks the friend, on the edge of her seat.
"Well..." Menthaam drinks from her mug. "I met some one new, and- it was a guy!"
Sitting beneath her lesbian pride, Menthaam looks up at it in confusion.
Narration: My new found attraction had me in a loop. Maybe I wasn't gay? And what did that mean to who I was?
"Maybe my relationship with that girl was a mistake or mere teenage infatuation?" She asks herself, head in her hands. "What if the attraction to women is simply imposed on me by society? Or maybe relationships with men were a mistake. What if I've been making the wrong choice all this time?"
Page 4
Menthaam takes the form of a big pink anthropomorphized ball being batted between two blue figures, one labelled "Gay" and the other "Straight".
Narration: I was tormented by doubts for several years.
Narration: Sometimes I felt that I was more attracted to girls, but other times I was more strongly attracted to guys.
Menthaam, back to her cat form, sits on an old-fashioned apothecary scale which wobbles back and forth between the weight of a girl fox and a box fox. "I can't just pick one!" She exclaims.
"For a long time, I shied away from finding a real partner." She shrugs.
Page 5
Back again in the living room with her blue friend, she pal exclaims, "Yeesh! I had no idea. That really sounds tough. Did you ever figure things out?"
"Yep!" Chirps Menthaam happily. "In the end it was as simple as not caring as much. I don't have to stop at any one point. My sexuality can move around that's ok!"
We focus on her hands, texting away on a phone which speaks hearts into a word balloon.
Narration: I found support from similar people online. It helped me come to a realization, that it's ok and normal to be attracted to all kinds of different people, and that it's ok to shift and change.
"Right now-" She says, standing proudly as her friend applauds her. "I feel bisexual and proud of it!"
By Menthaam - Twitter.com/Menthaam
Transcribed by Erika Moen 5/2/2024